I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
