he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I believe in your delicious
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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