Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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