I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize