apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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