I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
