it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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