I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just want nice things and good sex
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
