I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think my vagina is haunted
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
