if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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