adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
