Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
They took my balls.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
