I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
