Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize