It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
