I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
