HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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