Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Green mimosas i think yes
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The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
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either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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