I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize