The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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