i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
