I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
