In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
