Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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