You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
