hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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