I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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