Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize