walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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