ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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