im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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