do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole