Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  You don't understand. I'm not like you.

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  (609): Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count (1-609): You don't understand. I'm not like you. http://tfl.nu/ja4i
  Replies (25) Good night (2456) Bad night (661)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.

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  (513): I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off. (1-513): trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis. http://tfl.nu/8skg
  Replies (23) Good night (2491) Bad night (654)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.

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  (636): It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks. (314): Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this. http://tfl.nu/u3mg
  Replies (30) Good night (4670) Bad night (636)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i must have dtf stamped on my forehead

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  (919): i must have dtf stamped on my forehead http://tfl.nu/gk7r
  Replies (41) Good night (2857) Bad night (666)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work

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  (806): a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work http://tfl.nu/5pwl
  Replies (19) Good night (931) Bad night (4120)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.

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  (607): Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college. http://tfl.nu/qsq7
  Replies (28) Good night (4314) Bad night (703)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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  (412): I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts. http://tfl.nu/rew4
  Replies (24) Good night (949) Bad night (5408)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"

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  (519): Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake" http://tfl.nu/m7yz
  Replies (12) Good night (3207) Bad night (1549)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at

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  (506): At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at http://tfl.nu/k9hn
  Replies (5) Good night (1839) Bad night (556)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.

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  (704): And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control. http://tfl.nu/cnqj
  Replies (18) Good night (2304) Bad night (1017)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.

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  (517): Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet. http://tfl.nu/zmql
  Replies (15) Good night (1548) Bad night (662)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?

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  (908): Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka? http://tfl.nu/zznq
  Replies (2) Good night (1090) Bad night (384)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang

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  (603): You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang http://tfl.nu/srl1
  Replies (0) Good night (736) Bad night (408)
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  (646): View more from New York

  classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable

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  (646): classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable http://tfl.nu/pp5h
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (259)
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  (408): View more from California

  I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not

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  (408): I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not http://tfl.nu/5y8f
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (225)

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