Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.

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  (917) And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater. http://tfl.nu/gzmt
  Replies (2) Good night (1109) Bad night (598)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I think i sorta joined a cult last night

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  (308): I think i sorta joined a cult last night http://tfl.nu/1gad
  Replies (6) Good night (1992) Bad night (1368)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  i was rollin on her like bob the builder

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  (318): i was rollin on her like bob the builder http://tfl.nu/6lwa
  Replies (3) Good night (2458) Bad night (608)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  How bad was it?

  (1-713): View more from Texas

  You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth

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  (713): How bad was it? (1-713): You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth http://tfl.nu/i16m
  Replies (23) Good night (5179) Bad night (738)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.

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  (630): Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself. http://tfl.nu/vif9
  Replies (55) Good night (11159) Bad night (1575)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."

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  (318): He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later." http://tfl.nu/4lz3
  Replies (14) Good night (2489) Bad night (3833)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...

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  (570): who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius... http://tfl.nu/rkbg
  Replies (15) Good night (3684) Bad night (996)
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  (818): View more from California

  He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.

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  (818): He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year. http://tfl.nu/aaaw
  Replies (9) Good night (768) Bad night (2588)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  She has a lazy eye!

  (317): View more from Indiana

  My other option is a hardwood floor

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  (765): She has a lazy eye! (317): My other option is a hardwood floor http://tfl.nu/pxwj
  Replies (8) Good night (613) Bad night (1830)
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  (650): View more from California

  lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses

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  (650): lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses http://tfl.nu/4rg9
  Replies (12) Good night (1276) Bad night (757)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.

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  (641): Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings. http://tfl.nu/iq9m
  Replies (4) Good night (1639) Bad night (745)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head

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  (412): I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head http://tfl.nu/38tu
  Replies (3) Good night (1431) Bad night (599)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon

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  (651): Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon http://tfl.nu/o3ou
  Replies (5) Good night (1268) Bad night (544)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??

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  (610): So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night?? http://tfl.nu/qtcd
  Replies (2) Good night (949) Bad night (377)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances

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  (610): I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances http://tfl.nu/sqi3
  Replies (2) Good night (257) Bad night (166)

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