Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
