You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
