Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved

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  (518): Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved http://tfl.nu/xr5y
  Replies (11) Good night (1411) Bad night (521)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

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  (202): I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha http://tfl.nu/h2dn
  Replies (5) Good night (782) Bad night (4858)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...

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  (618): here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco... http://tfl.nu/ll6l
  Replies (37) Good night (3771) Bad night (1049)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew

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  (360): i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew http://tfl.nu/ocbg
  Replies (45) Good night (23985) Bad night (1190)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date

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  (561): I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date http://tfl.nu/ynms
  Replies (29) Good night (14637) Bad night (1344)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day

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  (314): I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day http://tfl.nu/ayjg
  Replies (6) Good night (3059) Bad night (1294)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?

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  (610): Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar? http://tfl.nu/upld
  Replies (9) Good night (1016) Bad night (2982)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.

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  (630): Thursday nights need to stop happening to me. http://tfl.nu/p744
  Replies (8) Good night (2432) Bad night (992)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.

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  (419): I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation. http://tfl.nu/3fs0
  Replies (3) Good night (1736) Bad night (738)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That bitch ruined vodka saturday

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  (651): That bitch ruined vodka saturday http://tfl.nu/2db3
  Replies (6) Good night (723) Bad night (1886)
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  (209): View more from California

  Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something

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  (209): Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something http://tfl.nu/htcf
  Replies (23) Good night (1038) Bad night (3430)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!

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  (515): I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th! http://tfl.nu/5xz8
  Replies (0) Good night (1094) Bad night (543)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.

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  (347): I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong. http://tfl.nu/uiaa
  Replies (15) Good night (1900) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.

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  (602): Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side. http://tfl.nu/uoi7
  Replies (2) Good night (928) Bad night (750)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  did i make more ranch sandwiches last night

  (269): View more from Michigan

  you had 4

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  (248): did i make more ranch sandwiches last night (269): you had 4 http://tfl.nu/kctz
  Replies (0) Good night (465) Bad night (559)

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