No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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