Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
