Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
