think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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