Need sex. Gaining weight.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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