it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
