Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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