Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
