Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it's like iHOP with fire
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
