i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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