What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
