Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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