dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
