using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
