i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
