and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
