i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
