i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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