Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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