i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
