mondays should just be called national damage control day
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
