Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
