pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
