He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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