Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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