ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
